You have never not been realspeaken.

Remember back when I mentioned that my health insurance had been cancelled, even though I was still being billed for it, and no one could figure out why?

Work kept reassuring me that even though they had no idea why it was cancelled, it was resolved and would be reactived "soon".

So, I called today to find out what was going on. The CSR at UnitedHealthcare says that there is no record of any interruption to my service, ever. When I asked about all the previous phone calls, where they told me that I had no coverage, as well as the "good luck finding another insurer" letter I had received, she got annoyed and just kept repeating "your coverage has never been cancelled, is there anything else I can do for you?"

You haven't actually done anything for me, but no.